thank goodness it's friday!

The end of a busy week.

on Monday my eldest Ellie went on a residential trip with her school, poor Sarah was quite upset and kept asking "where Ellie gone mum?"

on Tuesday Sarah (my 2yr old) went for a visit to pre school, she loved it and didn't want to leave! since then every morning she say's "my pre school today mum?"

Wednesday was a quiet day, except for Sarah playing her piano loudly and me doing lots of washing!

on Thursday me and Sarah went to gym minis, Sarah loves climbing, jumping, crawling and singing, i enjoy a bit of a rest because the lovely ladies there help Sarah so my hands get a break!

Friday (today) we'll be tidying, doing the washing and later picking up Ellie, I'm sure she'll bring home a large amount of washing so, here's to a busy week end to! i also think she's going to be tired, so an early night i think!

spoon theory!!

i just read 'the spoon theory' it was written by a girl with lupus but it describes life with arthur, or chronic pain perfectly.
if everyone read it they'd understand my life!
here's a link to the theory on 'but you don't look sick, a website and the title says it all!

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

please read it and maybe you can understand why some day's I'm moody, or short tempered or so sleepy it's untrue!!! i told you I'm not just lazy!
the person who wrote it describes life with chronic pain so perfectly, i couldn't even begin to explain it so well!

wahoo hay! i've dyed my hair today!

well, last weekend i dyed my hair black, last night i bleached the front of my hair, then this morning i dyed the bleached (ginger and blond) bit electric blue, i love it! just wish I'd been braver and bleached more as i think the blue is amazing, I'm a happy bunny!

apart from that, nowt much going today. Sarah is asleep, Ellie is round her friends and I'm sat here! boring don't you agree?!

stupidly I've managed to run out of my morphine, how daft am i? so it'll be a weekend of pain no doubt, hooray, NOT!

it's wednesday!!

today i are mostly doing the washing!!!
I've stripped beds, washed the bedding and now the fun begins! making my bed, hmm, who would of thought it would be so hard to 'make a bed'? it's at times like these that i get angry with Arthur. shake the pillow into the pillow case, easy? erm, not any more! just trying to keep hold of the pillow case while i shake it causes immense pain, drop it a few times and you can add a frustrated face to the mix!
still once it's done i have a few day's to get over the pain.

any way, Sarah tries to help by sticking her head into the tumble dryer to see if i got all the clothes out, Ellie keeps asking if she can turn the washing machine on, any one would think it was fun lol!
still, only another 2 or 3 loads then I'm done for the day. does any one want to vacuum for me please?

nearly the end of the summer holiday!

well, here we are, just 1 more week until Ellie goes back to school. i cannot believe how quick the holiday's have gone, doesn't seem like 6 weeks!
any way, just a quick update, i had an MRI scan done on my hand last week. this is to see if anything can be done to get some movement back in my thumb, sadly my other fingers are also going on strike now. i think i may have at least one 'new' nodule at the base of my middle finger on the same hand, my left one and being left handed this is causing many problems, especially when i try to write, hmm, my handwriting was never great but now it's even worse!!!
i have to admit (but only here because no one reads this) this arthur is getting me down, again at the moment, just wish i could get some energy, just a little would be fine. my sleeping is bad and along with all the side effects of the meds i feel so tired all the time, it's not fair, actually it's not fair!!!
tell me again what i did to deserve this curse that is rheumatoid arthritis?

i guess i should write down my latest crazy dream?!!

it's not as crazy as some of my others but it was a tad strange!!!

i went to town to get a tattoo because (in this dream) my littlest daughter Sarah was at pre school and Ellie was at school, so i had a few hours to myself! when i got to the tattoo place a saw the tattoo i wanted and copied it, by hand onto a piece of paper, it seemed big but hey it was what i wanted! all i can remember about it was that it had lots of rings, but they were like diamond engagement type rings!!! when i showed the tattooist and told him i wanted it on my chest (i would never really have a tattoo there, so odd!) he said " aren't you a bit old to have a tattoo?" "what are you, 48, 49?" i was shocked, i said "no, I'm only 35!" but he wouldn't believe me!! that's when i woke up, i was tempted to run and get some botox done quick!!!


until next time, that's it for my dull life!!!

frustration, frustrated, frust everything....

It's Sunday 12th July, I'm feeling a bit fed up of Arthur at the moment, with his power of invisibility. If i broke my leg, you could see it, if I had no head, you could see it, well you couldn't because it isn't there but you know what i mean!

Here's me, looking perfectly normal, well, as normal as I can look, but I feel crap. The methotrexate makes me feel sick, it's the time of the month the my Aunt Flo visits, which makes me feel even more sicky and quite grouchy to.

So you can imagine what a nice person I am to be around today?! but as I was saying Arthur, invisible to everyone, every joint hurts, from my neck down to my toes yet I can't prove it can I? there's no way of showing that my joints feel like they need oiling or more tempting, removing completely.
Any way, enough of my complaining, maybe I could have 'WARNING, I contain Arthur!' tattooed across my forehead? that way I wouldn't have to explain why I use disabled toilets, why I don't use stairs (unless I Have no choice and then i grumble!) why I can't sit on the ridiculously low chairs they have at school (I'm an adult i want a proper chair please!) oh so many things i can't type them all!!
Maybe, if I had one wish, I'd wish to have a normal body, just for a day, to feel pain free and be able to sit on the floor and play with my children, to be able to jump in a puddle if I want to! the little things that once I took for granted.
I will have to keep my eye out for a magic lamp or leprechaun, if you see one, pass it my way, please?

hot weather, yay!

The weather is hot, hot, hot so I've been out trying to sort out our back garden, hmm, some interesting things out there, not sure how these things get into the garden though!!
I've been pruning the ivy, that's no fun, it gets everywhere. I cleared some but i think it will take a miracle to get rid of it all, sadly I've not been good enough to get a miracle, so i guess I'll have to keep chopping it, argh!!!
Thanks to Arthur, i can only do a bit of the garden before needing to rest, my stupid hands are getting so weak now, still I'm seeing the hand surgeon soon so maybe he'll decide to sort them out a bit? I know life would be easier with fully functioning hands.
see, Arthur has a lot to answer for.

Anyway, on a more exciting note, i got an e.mail a while back, we love the wiggles in our house so i had to join the wiggles site, because of that i got an e.mail about the Dorothy the Dinosaur tour! yay!
They are hopefully doing a show in Basingstoke, if they do we are going, it'll be great because mine and Sarah's favourite Captain Feathersword will probably be there, sadly not all the wiggles but hey Captain Feathersword will do!!! maybe i can sneak backstage for a picture? that would make me happy, although if Arthur's about i won't be able to be very sneaky!!
well that's all for now, got to hoover!!
I'll be back soon.....