well, been a while since i updated so here goes!
due to my arthritis refusing to stay under control i have been on steroids for about 4 months. they worked well and i was in a lot less pain and it seemed good, but sadly for every good thing there is a side effect, so now my bones are showing signs of thinning. the worst affected is my femur. it has thinned badly and my once stable hip resurfacing is now badly unstable, in fact it actually seems to be dislocating randomly. so after seeing my orthopaedic specialist at guys hospital i've now been told i need a full hip replacement, what joy!
so i'm feeling a bit in shock and quite down, after all my husband married me as a quite healthy mobile person and now i'm in pretty bad shape!
ok so i've had a dodgy hip for years and arthritis crept up on me slowly but i was ok, i could cope. now i'm on more meds and still on morphine which i was trying to come off.
my moods go from lovely to evil in a short state of time. mostly because i feel so guilty.
my husband and children shouldn't have to look after me when i'm bad, they deserve a decent mum and wife.
oh, well enough moaning, at least i'm getting my hip done by a very god surgeon so that makes me feel better!

oh no, another mad dream!

last night i had what i can only call and karma dream!!
for everything nice or good that happened there was something not so good happening to!

so, i won a weeks holiday for me and my friends, we were staying in a very posh hotel, with a huge soft bouncy bed, heaven! except we all had to share the same bed! the view was weird, basically when we looked out the window we could see inside a big factory making gorgeous smelling chocolates and fudge, we could almost taste them and they looked so nice, but we couldn't get to them, the factory was sealed, argh!!

later we were visiting a big theme type park, with loads of rides and big slides, soft play big enough for adults, but all the entrances to the rides were sealed so we had to climb up the sides of the rides, which was scary and really hard to do, we could see other people getting on the rides normally but when we tried they were sealed tight!
i watched my friend go down a massive slide, she was sitting down going down it and at the end she suddenly went from sitting down to standing on a scooter, but at the end off the slide there were big soft mats and as she came off the end of the slide the scooter got stuck on the mat and but she carried on moving, so she ended up falling over.

then i was woken by Sarah, which was good because the dream was getting really frustrating!

I'm not sure what made me dream this weirdness, normally i only have such vivid dreams when i take extra meds, but last night i didn't, oh well, proves I'm mad doesn't it!!!