After feeling sick and rough for a while now I decided on 6/04/09, with the help of my rheumy nurse to stop taking my methotrexate.

so, here i am, a week after stopping my methotrexate and feeling crap, sorry, but I'm really feeling stiff and achy, oh and tired, so tired. i haven't slept properly for a while but the last week has been awful. pain, is an understatement. everything aches and at night I can only sleep for a short while before i get woken by the pain, so i have to try to find another comfy position, which proves to be hard. my knees hurt if they aren't separated by a pillow or the quilt, may sound weird but it's true!!!! my hands are also playing up, which means sometimes hanging them over the edge of the bed helps, sometimes having them above my head, it's trial and error!!!
so, I'm now at the snappy, moody, tired and a bit angry phase, I'm sure I'll get an appointment with my rheumy soon and then it will be the fun game of starting some new med, yippee!!!
well, enough moaning for now, Ellie has gone away for a week with my parents in there caravan, so this week it's just me and Sarah during the day, hmmm, not sure what we'll get up to, cleaning and washing clothes probably!!!
until next time, over and out!.......

another dream

this was a short dream but it was enough to panic me!

i had an evil spirit attached to me, it was saying horrible things, making me angry.

the only way to get rid of it was to hurt it, but really hurt it not just a little slap!
but obviously to hurt it i had to hurt myself, i could feel the pain but i had to keep trying. i was knocking into things and rolling on the floor to try to hurt it, the pain was what i remember most.
i bit it and scratched it and eventually it left me and i woke up.

but i hurt when i woke up, i could still feel where i had banged and bitten to try to get rid of it.

weird don't you think?!!!

Easter holiday's start here.....

well, here i am, Monday April 6th, it's 8.40am ish. I'm about to start tidying the lounge, that's today's task, not very exciting i admit, but hey.

Sarah is busy trying to ride her bike in the hallway, Ellie is moaning she's bored, it's great, fab, super, hooray!!!!

so, i need to pick up the ever growing pile of Sarah's toy's, vacuum the carpet which is covered in garden, well grass. then try to keep the toy's in there place, in the toy box.
I've sorted Sarah and Ellie's bedroom, I've hurt my hands moving furniture and stuff.
i want a robot vacuum, it could roll around in a constant vacuuming frenzy, oh the endless fun it would give me, watching it work, doing my job!
any way, this week could be fun because I've had to stop doing my methotrexate injections due to them making me feel so sick. the methotrexate was great as it really helped with Arthur but sadly the sickness was unbearable. so I've got at least a week with no medication, so I'm thinking 'ouch' is the word of the week. especially as I've managed to lower my morphine dose a bit, but i regret doing it now, i might just need the extra pain killing power....
watch this space and I'll watch my language, 'ow' is the hardest word to say!